The Bukowski Agency - The Bear - Excerpt
The Bear

a novel by Claire Cameron

EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER ONE

I CAN HEAR THE AIR going in and out of my brother’s nose. I am awake. He is two years old and almost three and he bugs me lots of times because I am already six years old but it is warm sleeping next to him. I call him Stick. He always falls asleep before me and I listen to the air of his nose. I can hear my parents’ voices. They are farther away than I can reach and whispering because they think I can’t hear. I let out a squeak to let Momma know I am awake and she says, “We’re right here” from too far away. I squeak again and the zipper undoes and I can see the sky in the crack. Her cool hand brushes my hair back and her fingers touch my cheek. “Sssh, Ana” she says and the sky zips away again. When I am inside a tent the outside is far away.

The tent is green and sniffs like dust. My parents have a fire that they are not sharing with me and they are cooking something too. Bacon. I love bacon. My tummy rumbles and I want bacon but it will make Daddy mad. I sniff Gwen teddy bear instead. She is brown and smells of us. And hear the air whistle when it leaves Sticky’s nose. I feel nervous and I don’t know why. The night will be dark soon. And it might be the meat is making my tummy weird. When we were at the cottage, Sticky was chewing on bacon and he shoved another in his mouth and another and another. When Momma saw she said “chew your food” but Stick couldn’t chew because his mouth was all full. He started to go red and his eyes got watery and I thought he was crying. I said, “Ha ha, Alex’s crying” and Momma came and thumped him. A ball of bacon came out of his mouth. Momma got Sticky in trouble for not chewing and I looked at the meat. It had spit on it. I felt a barf in my mouth. And I didn’t eat that bacon ball but it followed us here. It’s making my tummy feel weird.

The air is cold. I roll closer to Stick. His breath goes in my ear and it is warm. A little piece of light from the fire is having a dance on the side of the tent but only a little because it is not very dark yet. There is no music except Stick’s nose air and still the light flicks and rolls on the side of the tent. I can’t sleep. I tuck Gwen under the covers so she isn’t cold and I creep over to the door. The zipper has teeth that grab on my skin. I go slow so it doesn’t bite and I open it just a little bit so my face can be out. The carpet here is made of pine needles. They smell like the yellow bottle I use to help Momma clean the bathtub. There are prickle trees all around our camp. These are the ones that forgot the needles on the ground. The moon is going to switch with the sun and the moon will have a tail that shows up on the water. The water is not chop, chop, chop any more. It sits quietly in the lake now because it is sleeping. Close to the water, really far away from me, I can see two shadows. I can hear from the whispers that it’s Momma and Daddy and they are laughing. Momma leans forward and I see a ponytail like a horse’s hanging down. Her face is smiling and I can see her teeth in a nice way. The only other person I can see is Coleman.

Coleman is blue like the sky and he is so heavy I can’t lift him up. We bring him on canoe trips to carry our food so that bears can’t rob the food from us. Bears like our food if we let them and we don’t want to do that. So Coleman holds everything inside his body and we put him in a tree for the night. When he is up there he looks like a bird except that he is way too big and rusty to be a bird. Only Daddy can lift him up. When Coleman has to pee he has a little button at the side where I can push and his pee comes out and when I see it sometimes I pee too. That is why we camped on the island. The water was chop, chop, chop because the wind was whistling in my ears. If we went down the path to the next lake where we were supposed to camp then Daddy would have to carry Coleman and the canoe but Momma wanted to be here to see the moon. The tree in our backyard is so heavy that I can’t pick it up and I tried to pick Coleman up and can’t.

I whisper hello to Coleman and Daddy’s head turns away from the fire, “Back in the tent, Ana.”

I stay still to make me invisible.

“Did you hear me?”

I am not invisible.

“Last time, okay?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Sleep tight.”

I poke my head inside and Gwen missed me. She looks lonely and I tell her with my eyes that I am coming. I carefully take zipper in my fingers. They feel fuzzy in the tips and too tired to pull. Zipper will bite if I don’t watch out. I pull again and zipper tries to get me between my thumb and pointy finger, the soft part that looks like it could be on a frog. I sit back and pull my hand away. Zipper must be hungry and so I will stay away. I grab Gwen and sniff and tuck her back into the sleeping bag.

I lie on my back and snuggle and the fire is dancing more on the side of the tent because it is a little more blue and grey outside. I watch it and my eyes start to shut but I don’t want them to. Maybe if Stick is asleep then Momma will pluck me out of bed and feed me bacon. I want to ask out loud but my teeth are too fuzzy. My head is heavy like a rock. My eyes shut again and I peel them open. I hear a sniff. It might have been from Sticky’s nose but it sounded bigger than that. Stick’s nose must be growing and in the middle of the night it will hog all the air in the tent. Something moves on the side of the tent. I see some fluff beside the dancing fire and I think the fluff is Stick’s hair. He has escaped. It might be his little white head sneaking out for bacon. A few of his fluffy hairs are sticking up as a shadow just outside the tent. His nose whistles beside me so I know it’s not, but the hair bristles up and I think that it looks thicker. The hair stands there shaking like my fingers when I am hungry. I watch it and it moves forward only a very little as slow as a snail. It would be a hairy snail and much bigger and that means it probably isn’t snail anymore. And the bacon smells and my eyes fall down and now I can open them only a crack. I see the hair move and I think as my eye cracks shut and how did Stick stay sleeping and sneak out of the tent for bacon at the same time?

 

 

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